


Molded by Shadows

by hidekaneheadcanons



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Body Horror, Gore, M/M, More characters to be added, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-11-30 15:47:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11466699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hidekaneheadcanons/pseuds/hidekaneheadcanons
Summary: Hide, the second prince of his kingdom, is attacked by a mysterious creature in the middle of the night. Unable to heal his injuries through medicine, he seeks out the assistance of a sorcerer. As the attacks continue, Hide comes to realize there is much more darkness in his kingdom than he imagined.





	1. Chapter 1

Hide clutched at his bleeding shoulder, his breathing ragged. He dragged his foot behind him as he walked, the numbing of his leg impairing his movement. He braced himself against the castle wall as he moved, his vision blurring on the edges.

He was attacked by _something_. He awoke in the middle of the night to the sound of footsteps in his room. When he opened his eyes, all he could see was the cold glint of steel rushing towards him. He moved out of the way – but only enough to avoid a direct hit. The blade carved into his left shoulder, causing blood to immediately gush down his arm. Distantly he felt pain, but it dulled as both adrenaline and years of training kicked in. Hide grabbed the knife under his pillow, rolling off his bed and spinning to face his attacker in the darkness of his room. He moved closer to the fireplace in his room, the dim light from the barely burning coals giving him some visual capabilities. Still, he couldn’t see where his attacker was.

He tried to hear their breathing over his own racing heart, but all he could hear was the sound of something dripping – most likely his own blood. He tried to focus and drown everything about his own body out, focusing on his attacker. He just barely managed to catch the sound of swishing fabric before he was lunged at again.

Hide parried the blow with his short blade, sending his attacker sprawling into the wall. They crashed into it head first, not even throwing their arms out to catch themselves. It was a hard impact, Hide knowing there was no way they should have been able to stand back up after that. Yet, as he was lowering his guard, he saw his attacker shift, before staggering to their feet. Astoundingly, they lunged at him again.

Hide repeated the same action he did before, but flicked his wrist in the same instant, sending their blade clanging to the ground. They didn’t so much as pause, this time coming at him barehanded, hands curled into claws. Hide wasted no time, smoothly plunging his blade into their chest, right into their heart.

They didn’t even flinch. Hide jerked back as teeth snapped inches away from his face, prying the knife out of their chest. He skittered back a few steps, struck with horror and surprise as they continued towards him. By all means, they should have been dead.

Hide did the only thing he could think of in the moment. Even _if_ they couldn’t die, he could impair their movement enough for him to escape and get him from one of the castle guards. If he wanted to do that, then he needed to take out their legs. They couldn’t be able to chase after him if the muscles were damaged.

Hide used his speed to his advantage. It wasn’t like they had a weapon any longer, but they could still do damage if Hide wasn’t careful. His opponent couldn’t keep up with him as he continuously sliced the muscles in their legs. Even if they didn’t go down like a normal person, they still fell after Hide’s work was done.

Hide relaxed a little as they collapsed, lowering his guard. That was when they reached out with one arm, swiping across his leg with their nails. Hide gasped and stumbled back, cursing. The wound wasn’t that bad, but Hide could tell immediately that something felt wrong.

His attacker crawled after him, dragging themselves forward with their arms, their teeth clinking together. Hide wasted no more time, he rushed out of his room, closing the door behind him. As he backed away, he could hear scratching against the wood.

From there, he stumbled down the hallway, his leg getting more numb with each step. His head was spinning. Just as he collapsed he heard the sound of someone calling his name.

~ <3 <3 <3 ~

The cart was bumpy as it traveled down the road. Hide winced with each hole they hit, his entire body aching. He rested the back of his right hand against his forehead. He felt like he was burning. His leg especially felt like it was on fire. Hours after it had been scratched, it began to turn a strange bluish colour. Above that, his leg became red and inflamed. In the days he spent in the cart, traveling in the summer heat, it only spread further up his leg.

Nishiki, the court physician was the first to examine Hide’s wounds after Touka brought him to him. Hide was treated and his wounds were bandaged. But after that, everything seemed to pass feverishly. Touka and the rest of the guards went to apprehend his attacker from his room. The room was covered in bloody scratch marks, their nails embedded in various places in the walls. The guards tried to speak to the attacker, but to no avail. In the end, they were bound, a gag in their mouth to keep them from snapping at the guards.

Rumours started to fly, speaking of dark magic and sorcery. Those rumours only seemed to be confirmed as Hide’s wounds festered and his health deteriorated significantly in such a short span of time. After that, Nishiki determined that his wounds couldn’t be treated by any traditional medical means, as it wasn’t by natural means that they occurred.

The only hope was to get into contact with a sorcerer. There were few around, and many did not have much skill in the craft. There were many wannabes, but very few who actually mastered dark magic. That left Hide with only a couple choices. After much deliberation, he decided to go west. There were rumours of a powerful sorcerer working within a forest just outside a town. Though the sorcerer’s identity wasn’t confirmed, most sorcerers that were well known were known for their terrible deeds. Hide felt better taking a chance with a possibly non-existent sorcerer than one that got their name from plagues and massacres.

It was initially planned Hide’s guard would search for the sorcerer and bring him back to the castle, but Hide wasn’t sure if had time for that. Nishiki agreed with him. Hide’s personal guard escorted him, pulling Hide in a cart drawn by horses.

Hide dazed in and out of consciousness for the whole trip, waking when he was given water. He tried to eat some food earlier in the trip, but he just couldn’t keep it down. They stopped many times. When they did, it was usually night time and Hide welcomed the cooler temperature. In the last couple of days, they made many more stops, presumably to ask the locals for information. Touka kept him updated in their search for the sorcerer. Hide just barely kept up with the information.  The search seemed fruitless. Just when he thought he couldn’t take it anymore, the cart came to a stop once again and Touka poked her head in.

“We’re here.” She continued when Hide nodded. “Wait for a bit. I’ll be back.”

A few moments later, Hide could hear Touka’s voice and someone else’s, but Hide couldn’t hear the conversation. It sounded like they were arguing. Shakily, Hide sat up, pulling himself to the entrance of the cart where he could look out and listen.

“If he’s sick, go see a doctor.” Hide could see a man with an eyepatch standing with his back against the door to a stone building.

Touka was scowling at him. “We _did_. If the court physician can’t help him, then –“

The man’s expression darkened. “I want nothing to do with royals.”

Hide saw Touka’s hand drop to her sword. So did the man. Hide could feel the tension in the air. Wanting to do something about it, but not knowing what to do, Hide tried to get out of the cart and head on over. Unfortunately, his legs couldn’t hold him and he collapsed to the ground. Trying to stand made the world spin around him. Hide gagged, and though he hadn’t eaten for days, he choked up some kind of black fluid.

Hide heard the clang of weapons. When he looked up, he saw the sorcerer standing over him, multiple swords pointed to his chest or throat. He frowned at Hide, then pushed Touka’s sword away from him with two fingers.

“You wanted me to help him, didn’t you?” He smiled.

Touka sighed. “Lower your weapons.”

There was the sound of discontent from some of the guard, but they did as she asked. When they did, the sorcerer crouched down. He gave Hide a once over, then reached for his leg. Hide winced as he undid the bandages. He stared at the wound for a few moments, his expression impassive.

“This is fairly advanced,” he finally muttered. “It might be too late to do anything.”

“Can you try at least?” Touka glared at him.

The sorcerer sighed. “I’ll see what I can do. I expect hefty pay for this and complete anonymity.” He slid an under Hide’s. “Help me bring him inside.” He and Touka lifted Hide up. When they began forward and the rest of the guard followed in step behind them, the sorcerer glanced over his shoulder. “Everyone else can wait outside.”

Touka tensed and Hide just barely managed to gasp out a couple words, his throat burning terribly. “It’s fine.”

They continued into the building, Hide stumbling even as his weight was supported. Hide blinked at the floor as they moved, and then stared at the ceiling when he was laid on a table. Dazed, he glanced around a bit, seeing the sorcerer set a large leather-bound book beside him.

Touka edged closer, trying to read what was written on the cover “Necromancy?” She glared at the sorcerer. “I want you to save his life, _not_ –“

“I _am_ saving his life.” The sorcerer shooed her away and started flipping through the pages. “No, I’m not planning to raise him from the dead. However, what scratched him _was._ So, I need to be able to prevent the infection from killing him and subsequently turning him.”

The sorcerer briefly left, coming back with his arms filled with different things. He removed the pot over the already burning fire in the room, then replaced it with another, filling it with water. As he waited for it to boil, he measured out some ingredients – none of which Hide recognized – and crushed them in a mortar and pestle. One the water was boiling, he added the strange mixture. Hide wasn’t sure how long they waited after that. The sorcerer would occasionally leave, coming back with a cool, damp cloth and dabbing at Hide’s face with it. The gentleness of his hands surprised him, especially considering how he initially refused to help them.

Finally, the brew was done. The sorcerer poured the mixture in a cup, helping Hide up to drink it. Hide fought back the urge to gag. It felt like the sludgy liquid coated the inside of his throat. He couldn’t get its rancid taste out of his mouth either. Yet, he was encouraged to drink all of it, coughing when he was done.

The sorcerer then got him to lay back down, centred him on the table and began drawing symbols around him with a dark, gritty substance. After he was done with the table, the various marks surrounding Hide, he used his fingertips to draw some on Hide as well, especially around the wound on his leg. Other marks were placed on his chest and face. Lastly, he moved to the wrists and ankles. Hide’s eyes widened when he realized he could no longer move them.

“It’s so you don’t smudge the symbols once we’ve begun. It could make the spell backfire, and that wouldn’t be good for either of us.” The sorcerer paused. “A word of warning. The potion I gave you will help somewhat, but this will be anything pleasant. Are you prepared to continue?”

Numbly, Hide nodded.

The sorcerer picked up the leather book and began his incantation a language unknown to Hide. The pain began immediately, but when Hide started to cry out in pain, he found his voice wouldn’t leave his throat. It left like he was choking, like he was suffocating. He felt the urge to claw at his throat, but he couldn’t raise his hands off the table. He couldn’t do anything but lay there and bare it.


	2. Chapter 2

The next thing Hide remembered was feeling warm – comfortably so – not like the burning he experienced for the past few days. He opened his eyes, seeing light filtering through a window and illuminating dust particles above him. Cautiously, he moved his limbs, surprised when they felt okay. A little sore, but okay.

He was laid on a bed covered in different furs and blankets. He sat up, getting his bearings, and realizing he had absolutely no clue where he was. The walls were covered with bookcases, the shelves filled with both books and assorted containers. There were different boxes and vials, some empty and some full. There was a heavy wooden door at the other end of the room. It was cracked open, revealing a dark hallway. Hesitantly, Hide swung his legs over the bed, cringing and wrapping one of the blankets around himself when his feet touched the icy floor.

When he stood, he swayed. Thankfully, he was no longer nauseous, just dizzy, like he hadn’t gotten up for a long while. He wondered how long he was out for. Hide made his way to the doorway, almost tripping in the threshold.

“Whoa.” Firm hands gripped his shoulders and steadied him. “I thought I heard you moving around over here.” Hide looked up to see the sorcerer staring at him worriedly with a single grey eye. “How are you feeling?”

Hide blinked slowly. “Better, I suppose.” He put a hand on the wall to steady himself and the sorcerer’s hands retreated, though they still hovered around him.

“That’s good.” The sorcerer nodded. “You were out for three days. I count myself lucky Touka hasn’t tried to cut my head off yet.”

“Ah…” Hide hoped she hadn’t been too much of a handful. “Sorry about that, she can be a little…”

“Threatening?” The sorcerer sighed. “Just… come on. You must be hungry and thirsty.”

Hide perked up at that and his stomach growled. The thought of food made him realize just how hungry he was. He followed after the sorcerer, who moved slowly and peaked over his shoulder to make sure Hide was still behind him.

“What’s your name?” Hide asked. He paused and leaned against the wall, catching his breath, though they only went a few feet.

“It’s Kaneki Ken, though I’m sure you could find that if you did a little digging.” Kaneki offered Hide his arm and Hide grabbed onto it, leaning against Kaneki instead of the wall and letting him support some of his weight. When they made it to the kitchen, Touka was sitting on one of the stools, looking out a window and scowling. When they came in, she immediately straightened.

“Prince.” She bowed slightly, her mouth twisted and her eyebrows pinched.

“Ah…” Hide waved. “Good morning?” He sat beside her and laid his head down on the table, only looking up when Kaneki placed a tall glass of water in front of him.

“We’ve managed to give you some fluids while you were out, but you’re probably still pretty dehydrated.”

Hide drink half the glass at once, then resisted the urge to put his head back down. He wasn’t even up for half an hour and he already felt like going back to sleep. He groaned quietly and out of the corner of his eye, he swore he saw Kaneki smile.

“Try to tough it out for a little more.” He was standing over what looked like a small cauldron, stirring in ingredients with a wood spoon. “Once you eat, we need to get moving. You can sleep on the ride.”

“Where are we going?”

“To the castle. I need to examine the zombie that attacked you, and properly release its soul from its body.” Kaneki poured the stew he was making into a single bowl, then placed it in front of Hide. “I also need to make sure the person who raised this spirit, hasn’t prepared any other attempts on your life.”

“What do you mean?”

Kaneki shrugged. “Anything of supernatural nature that may have been explained away by another means. Now, I’ve mixed a few things in that stew to help you recover, so try to finish it.”

Hide frowned and did as he was told. It was delicious. While it certainly wasn’t the same quality of ingredients from the castle, it tasted better than anything he had there. Hide finished in no time, wondering if it was Kaneki’s cooking that tasted so good, or if it was just whatever strange ingredients he mixed into it.

When he finished eating, Kaneki took his bowl and washed it quickly. He saw Kaneki slip a cloak on, throwing a leather sack over his shoulder. He addressed Hide. “Touka put all your belongings in the cart. We should get going soon.” Hide saw him fidget with the bottom of his eyepatch, making sure it was in place.

Touka took Hide’s arm to support him as he stood. He was starting to feel even more tired than he was before, probably the result of whatever Kaneki put in the stew. They made it out the door, Kaneki pausing to put some kind of ward on it. Hide guessed he didn’t want people messing around with his stuff while he was gone.

Touka helped Hide into the cart, then scowled as Kaneki went to follow him in.

Kaneki’s eyebrows raised as Touka’s hand drifted towards her hip. “I’m no soldier,” he said. “There’s no way I’m walking all the way to the castle. I wouldn’t be able to if you wanted me to.”

“Touka, its fine.” It wasn’t like Kaneki was going to kill him or anything. Although, Hide did wonder why he was agreeing to come to the castle when he seemed so averse to helping royalty.

Hide’s shoulders stiffened and he tilted his head in Kaneki’s direction. “You’ll have an escort at all times. I have my own quarters. Don’t think of wandering from them, or wherever else we take you.”

Something flashed in Kaneki’s eye, but it was gone before Hide had a chance to examine it. If he had to wager a guess, it was disappointment, with a hint of sadness – no, hurt. Hide fought back the urge to take back his words. He was a prince inviting a potentially dangerous person into the castle. He couldn’t trust anyone. No matter how much he wanted to.

Kaneki turned away from him and pulled his hood up to cover his head. “I’m going to sleep.” He slipped into the cart, and didn’t look at Hide again.

~ <3 <3 <3 ~

It was a quiet ride. Hide slept for a long time, but it sure didn’t feel like he was unconscious enough. First of all, Kaneki was obviously in a sour mood. Secondly, _because_ Kaneki was in a sour mood, Touka decided to join them in the cart, making it only more cramped and full of grumpy people. Hide resigned himself to staring at the wall and ignoring the death glare Touka was giving Kaneki, _and_ the scowl Kaneki was giving the floor. Neither were directed at Hide, but it didn’t make it any less uncomfortable.

When they finally arrived at the castle, Hide hopped out of the cart, thankful for the fresh air and fresh atmosphere.

Kaneki stepped out as well, slipping the hood of his cloak over his head. He sighed as Touka stepped behind him, her sword drawn.

“Please,” he smiled at Hide. “Lead the way.”

Hide could feel Kaneki staring holes into his back the whole time. His shoulders hunched the more he walked, but he couldn’t have Touka remove her blade. He could if it was only him he was worried about. But, he had to worry about his family as well.

They led Kaneki through the castle grounds and to Hide’s private quarters where he was attacked. When Kaneki stepped into the room, Touka closed the door behind them, hesitantly lowering her sword when Hide sent a nod in her direction.

Kaneki slid his hood down and Hide watched with interest as Kaneki closed his eye and slid his eyepatch over to cover his other one. Hide fought the urge to recoil when Kaneki’s eye snapped open, rolling wildly. Kaneki turned around slowly, scanning the whole room. When Kaneki’s eye finally stopped rolling, its red pupil was focused on Hide’s bed.

“There are traces of dark magic here.” Kaneki walked towards the bed, ghosting his hand over the sheets. After a moment, he grabbed Hide’s pillow from his bed, producing a small blade from somewhere within his cloak.

Hide saw Touka stiffen beside him, but all Kaneki did was stab it into the pillow and tear it open. When he did, black powder fell of the ground. Kaneki knelt and dipped his fingers into the mess, bringing it up closer to his eye for inspection. After a minute or so he dusted his finger off and pulled a vial out of his sack and scooped some of the dust into it.

“It was likely they intended for you to inhale this as you sleep, either to kill you by the morning or over a longer period of time.” Kaneki pursed his lips. “It seems to be a mixture of human poison and dark magic. Either made by multiple people or one very skilled person. I’ll need to examine it further.”

He slid his vial into his pocket, but when he was about to do the same with his blade, Touka cleared her throat loudly, holding out her hand. Kaneki reluctantly gave it to her and frowned to himself when she slipped it into her belt.

“I don’t sense anything else in this room. May I see the zombie?”

Kaneki switched his eyepatch over to his other eye again when they left the room. Touka led them out of Hide’s residence and away from the castle. They headed down into the prison. Touka led them to a different section of it, a more solitary section. When they reached the cell, they could hear hissing and gagging. Touka picked up a torch from the wall and moved it closer to the mouth of the cell.

It was the first time Hide saw the zombie so clearly. He could see she was a woman and she looked a lot smaller than Hide remembered, curled in on herself as she was shackled by her hands rigidly to the wall. When she saw Hide, she erupted in a frenzy, desperate noises tearing from her throat as her bloody fingernails reached like claws towards him.

“Can you open this door?” Kaneki paused. “She is secured, right?”

“Of course.” Touka produced a key and unlocked it for him. “Go on in.”

Touka closed the door behind him, leaning against the iron bars. She glared when Kaneki glanced back at her, worry crossing his face for a split second. Hide would have followed him in, but he doubted Touka would let him. He tried to give him a reassuring nod, but he wasn’t sure if Kaneki even saw it as he turned back to the zombie.

He revealed his inhuman eye and crouched in front of her. Hide watched the way his shoulders stiffened as he glanced over her. He set down his sack, pulling out a thick leather strap with cloth wrapped around it. He got close to the zombie, prompting her to snap at him. The second she did, Kaneki jammed the strap in her mouth, quickly securing it behind her head. Once he did, he breathed a sigh of relief. Hide knew her scratches could do damage, but he guessed her bite could as well.

Kaneki pulled many other items out as well.

“What are you doing?” Hide asked, wondering just how he was planning to release her spirit.

Kaneki finished laying all his materials out and sat back. “I need to transfer ownership. First I need to be able to break the bond with the person who raised her, then create one of my own. Then, I can dismiss her. But before I dismiss her, I want to see if I can ask some questions.”

Hide let Kaneki work, watching as he drew different symbols and whispered different incantations, staring at the zombie with his eerie eye the whole time.

“This seal is a mess,” Kaneki finally said. “Based on it, I can’t tell if who rose her is terrible or talented. Based on the powder earlier, I would guess the latter. I can’t find a trace of a sorcerer’s mark at all.”

“What is that? A sorcerer’s mark?”

“For a spell like this, there needs to be some way for sorcerer to connect the zombie to themselves, to have control over it. However, this doesn’t seem to have one. So either the sorcerer who made this hid the mark very well, or there was hardly one to begin with. Or it could have just faded over time.” Kaneki sighed. “I’m beginning to wonder if they set the zombie after you or just shoved it in the same room as you.”

Hide hummed. “I would go with ‘set after’. She was initially attacking me with a sword…”

Kaneki nodded. “That would make the most sense, then.” Kaneki clicked his tongue. “I could stare at this for hours, but I don’t think I’d make any leeway. The person who made this obviously prepared to something like this. I can’t even pick up anything with my eye.”

“Can you still release her?” Hide didn’t like the thought of having a zombie in their prison for the rest of time, nor did he like the thought of someone’s spirit being trapped in a rotting carcass for that long either.

“Yes. Give me one second.” Kaneki said one last incantation, then smiled gently at the zombie that had gone still. “I’ll release you soon. You can go in peace. I just want to know if you can recall anything from the night this happened to you.”

Hide didn’t hear the zombie say anything, but he saw Kaneki go entirely still, his expression flat and his eye trained on the zombie’s. Hide leaned forward, trying to see what was happening, but neither Kaneki nor the zombie moved an inch. They stayed like that long enough that Hide was starting to get worried. But, just when he was about to voice his concern, Kaneki straightened.

“Thank you, Ryouko.” Kaneki made a symbol with his hands, and whispered one last spell. Then, Ryouko went slack. “She’s free now.” Kaneki looked back at Hide and Touka. “You’ll give her a proper burial?”

“We will.” Hide stared at Ryouko’s body. “And I know that name. Fueguchi Ryouko. She’s a noble. She had a husband and daughter… if it is her.”

“It is.” Kaneki confirmed. “Her husband is dead. She saw him die. But, she thinks her daughter is alive. She sent her running just before the attack happened. She wants us to find her.”

“Did she know who attacked her?”

Kaneki shook his head. “No. The only thing she could think of was her daughter.”

“Then we need to find her.” Hide looked hopefully at him. “Will you help me again?”

Kaneki smiled gently. “So long as there is a no-sword-pointing rule.”

~ <3 <3 <3 ~

The Fueguchi home used to be a sight to behold. It was a towering manor, made of warm wood and pale brick. Now, most of it was burned down, the wood turned to charcoal and that charcoal smudged on the brick. Hide, Kaneki and Touka stepped through what used to be a grand entryway.

“There isn’t a trace of anything here. It’s all burned.” Kaneki’s face was pinched as his eye spun continuously. When it didn’t lock onto anything for a few minutes, he replaced his eyepatch and swayed. Kaneki gripped onto a wall, only to have the corner of it crumble under his fingertips. Hide caught his arm and steadied him.

“Thank you,” Kaneki gasped. “It gets a little dizzying.”

“Do you need to sit down for a bit?” It didn’t look like it was _just_ dizzying. Kaneki looked pale and like he wanted to drop on the spot. Hide swore he even saw his legs trembling.

“I’m fine,” Kaneki insisted. “Thank you.”

Kaneki stepped away, continuing to observe the burnt building. He began wandering through the various halls and Hide followed him, worried he was going to collapse. Kaneki glanced over his shoulder, but said nothing as they walked together. That is until he stopped abruptly and stared down at the ground.

“Does this look like a footprint to you?” Kaneki crouched, his eyebrows pinching.

Hide knelt to examine it as well. It looked like a footprint, and was a little too small to be an adult’s. On top of that, the footprint was smudging the soot on the burnt stone, meaning whoever left it was there after the fire.

“Hinami?” Hide hesitantly called. “It’s Prince Hideyoshi. You can come out. We’re here to help you.”

Hide surveyed the area again, smiling when he saw head with dirty, knotted hair poke out of a partial demolished doorway. “Hide?”

“That’s right. Touka’s here too. We’re here to protect you.” Hide offered his hand, getting a closer look at Hinami as she stepped out of the doorway. She was covered in soot and dirt, her dress torn and her knees scraped. Her face looked too thin, too pale. As soon as she touched Hide’s hand, tears sprang to her eyes and Hide gathered her into a gentle hug.

“I’ll go get Touka,” Kaneki murmured, leaving the two of them be.

Hinami used to regularly visit the castle when she was a little younger. She always had fun trying to read Hide’s difficult books, and she admired Touka’s strength and sword skills. The last he heard, Hinami took up practicing the sword and hoped to impress Touka with her skills.

The last he heard, everything was as it should have been.

“Hina!” Hide was jostled as Touka wrapped her arms around the both of them. “Oh, thank god. _Thank god_.”

Hide glanced up, to thank Kaneki for helping find her, but when he did, Kaneki was nowhere to be found.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This chapter was written with hidekane week's first prompt: mixed up the recipe. Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy!

“Big Sister sure is amazing, isn’t she?” A younger Hinami swung her feet as she sat, gazing out into the courtyard. There, Touka was training a newer guard, a young woman with brown hair. She gasped sharply as Touka knocked her down again, scrambling out of the way as Touka’s sword met the ground where she just was.

“How can you expect to protect the prince when you can’t even defend yourself from me?” Touka swung again and the girl just ducked in time, gasping for breath. Touka glared at her and just kept coming, forcing her to just barely dodge swing after swing, a few grazing her skin and leaving thin cuts.

Touka simply wasn’t being fair. Hide saw no one with skill to beat her yet. Yet it was a test for all new guards, to determine their skills and also how easily it took them to give up. The girl that Touka was fighting with didn’t lose easily – even with blood seeping into her eye from the cut just below her hairline, she kept attacking and defending, even when there was obviously no hope of winning.

Finally, Touka ground to a halt, smiling and giving a bow. When she welcomed the girl aboard, she collapsed to her knees, a smile on her face and tears in her eyes. She nodded vigorously as Touka quickly went over her duties as a newly appointed guard.

When she was finished, she sauntered over, brushing her sweaty hair out of her face. “Did you enjoy the show?”

“Certainly not as much as you did.” Hide grinned. Touka had way too much fun with the newbies.

Hinami pulled at Touka’s sleeve. “Can you show me how you twirled your sword like that?”

Touka nodded. “Sure. But you can’t try to do it just yet, okay? If you want you can practice with your wooden sword at home, but still make sure you wear long sleeves.” Touka demonstrated the moved again as Hinami watched in awe.

It was no secret that Hinami wanted to learn how to use a sword. Hide knew it, and so did Ryouko, who was concerned with that particular interest of her daughter’s. Ryouko much preferred the hobby of reading than spinning a sharp object around at Hinami’s young age. However, she still bought Hinami the practice sword, so if the time came, Hinami would have been able to hone the skills she learned.

“What do you think of that? Hide?”

“…Hide?”

Hide jolted in his chair, picking his head out of the book on magic he fell asleep reading. He scratched his back and blinked his eyes open. When he glanced to his right, Hinami was standing there, clenching the hem of her nightgown in her fists.

“Hey.” Hide blinked. The room was dark. It was night time. Touka would kill him for falling asleep outside of his room again. “What’s wrong? Did you have another nightmare?” Hide got a closer look at her face, which was pale.

She nodded numbly and Hide felt around for the candle on his table. He lit it, then gestured for her to sit beside him. Hide wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into a half-hug, hoping he could offer some comfort. Since they made it back to the castle, she put on a little more weight, but certainly not enough. Hide noticed she also wasn’t sleeping well, based on the dark circles under her eyes.

“I’ve been reading this book, trying to understand a little more…” Hide showed her the cover. The book itself had sat in the library for a long time, but Hide never thought of opening it before. “I’ve gotten kind of interested in the subject.” Hide smiled a little and rubbed the lower part of his shoulder.

“Isn’t all magic bad?” Hinami leaned closer.

“Not all bad. But all dangerous? Yes.” Hide showed her the page he was currently on. “This book is all about healing magic and magic to help people. It talks about a bunch of different potions and spells to cure certain ailments.” It also detailed all the bad things that could happen if things went wrong. If incantations were worded in correctly, if recipes were mixed up. The book described anything from sickness to burns to death. Hide didn’t show her that part.

He wasn’t even sure if Hinami was listening as he read some of it to her, but her eyelids started to droop and that was a victory in itself. When she was finally asleep, Hide shut the book, sighing gently. He moved to pick up Hinami to carry her to her room, but Touka beat him to it.

“I was waiting outside,” she explained quietly. “I’ve been worrying about you lately.” Her eyes drifted to Hinami. “The both of you… please come with me, I want to speak to you after I tuck her in.”

Hide followed her down the empty halls, absently rubbing his spine as they walked. It felt kind of weird. It must have been from falling asleep in his chair. When they stopped by Hinami’s room, he folded his hands behind his head. Soon enough, Touka emerged and closed the door quietly behind her. She grabbed Hide by the arm and dragged him back down the hallway, then spoke in a hushed voice.

“You haven’t been getting much sleep either, have you?”

Hide shrugged. “Just haven’t been able to catch any. I’ve been researching a lot.”

Touka huffed. “You’ve hardly eaten for the past couple days. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you’ve been running a fever as well.”

“It’s a flu.” Hide sighed and scratched his back again, pushing up his shirt a little. “You remember how much I used to get sick when I was young. Sometimes, I still do. It’s no big deal. I’ll be better in a few days.”

Touka stared at him for a moment, her eyes narrowed. “Why do you keep scratching?”

“What?” Hide froze with his hand on his back, then hesitantly pulled away, surprised when he saw blood under his fingernails, both fresh and dried. “Huh.”

Touka grabbed him by his shoulder and spun him around, snagging the bottom of his shirt and pulling it up. “ _What the fuck._ ”

~ <3 <3 <3 ~

The forest was thick, the path overgrown. Hide never got a good look around the last time he was here, having spent the entirety of the ride in a cart. The foliage was a rich green, flowers and different plants coloured the edges of the uneven, dirty path. After an hour or so of travel in the forest, being flanked by Amon and Seidou, he finally came to Kaneki’s house.

Hide frowned as his horse came to a stop. Although the sun was just setting, the lights in the stone building weren’t lit. Hide was wondering if he wasn’t home, but when he went to try the door, it opened easily. Hide swung his hand in the opening, making sure Kaneki didn’t put some weird magic thing up to keep people out. After a moment, he stepped inside.

“Hello?” The floor creaked as Hide walked around, squinting in the dark. Then, there was a soft grunt as Hide accidently kicked something with his foot – rather, someone.

“Kaneki?”

Hide was answered by a groan.

Hide knelt by his side. “You okay?” He reached to touch his shoulder, feeling it burn from even underneath his shirt. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.” Hide went and lit some of the candles in the place, illuminated it just enough to see where he was going. Once he was done, he went back to Kaneki, who was slowly blinking his eyes open.

“Why are you on the ground?” In the light Hide could see Kaneki’s face, which was flushed and dotted with sweat.

“Looked good to rest on.” Kaneki muttered, squinting.

“Right…” Hide went to scratch at his back, but remembered Touka advised him not to do it and let his hand drop. “Let’s get you into bed, okay?”

Hide pulled Kaneki up onto his feet. He stumbled and fell heavily against Hide, almost toppling both of them to the floor. Hide grunted as he practically supported all of Kaneki’s weight, essentially dragging him to his bed. Kaneki collapsed into it, his head lolling back.

“What happened?” Hide moved a pillow under Kaneki’s head.

“Tried to make a new potion.” Kaneki gave a little shrug. “Fucked it up.”

Hide remembered all the terrible things he read in his book back at the castle, all the things that could happen when magic went wrong. “Are you going to be okay?”

Kaneki nodded slowly. Hide could see Kaneki was becoming more alert the longer they talked and Hide felt the tightness in his chest loosen. It surprised Hide how worried he was for Kaneki. It wasn’t like he knew Kaneki for a long time, or had some type of connection with him. But, Hide knew Kaneki was alone most of the time. Hide was also sure Kaneki, as a sorcerer, knew the risks of magic. Yet, taking a new potion without anyone around in the case of emergency, seemed pretty reckless.

“Can I get you anything? Some water maybe?” Hide pulled some blankets over him, smoothing them out.

Kaneki shook his head, letting his eyes close. “Just… sleep.”

Hide tried to argue, but Kaneki was already too far gone. In a matter of seconds, he was out like a light. Kaneki said all he needed was sleep, but Hide didn’t believe him. With a sigh, he got up to see what he could find around the house. Kaneki had to have boiled water somewhere. Hide read in the book in the library that sorcerers needed water to be as pure as possible, so they often boiled it and let the steam condense on a sheet of some sort and trickle down into another container.

Hide went into what he would call Kaneki’s ‘kitchen’, which contents consisted of a lot more potions and salves than food. When Hide searched the counters and shelves, he found many large jars of liquid that were unlabeled. Considering all of the potions were labeled in some way, Hide figured it was water. However, he tasted a little bit of it before he gave it to Kaneki. With that, he also retrieved a clean rag.

Pleased with his findings, Hide headed back to Kaneki’s room. He hadn’t moved since Hide left, but Hide could see sweat beaded on his face. Hide knelt by his side, wetting the rag and gently blotted his face with it.

When Hide was sick a lot when he was younger, he would always have someone looking after him. His parents never had time, so one of the castle workers would look after him. More often than not, Touka would be the one. She didn’t exactly have the best bedside manner, but Hide was glad to have her. He didn’t know how he could have bared it alone.

It was shortly after Touka joined them at the castle, when she was around eight or nine. Irimi was looking after her like a big sister would. She was teaching her how to cook, and Touka was always happy to have the good food after living on the streets. However, she didn’t like helping out in the kitchen very much. Instead, she preferred to sneak away and watch the castle guards and the knights practice their swordplay.

Hide was curious about it. There weren’t many children in the castle – nobody Hide could really make friends for. Sure, adults would be friendly to him, aristocrats would suck up to him to try to win his favour for when he was older. Hide never had a _friend._ Not until Touka came along. Touka, how didn’t care about his status. Touka, who used some very colourful words Hide never heard before to tell him to get lost when she first met him.

Touka thought Hide was a pest at first – to be perfectly honest, he kind of was. Touka only warmed up to him a little when he promised to teach her what he learned from his instructors. After all, he had been taught since he could hold a sword. Hide wasn’t that good of a teacher, essentially repeating all he could remember his instructor teaching him. His demonstrations weren’t that good either. However, Touka excelled, becoming much better than Hide with the sword in no time. On top of that, she also picked up on some things while watching the guards train. Eventually, she was the one teaching Hide. It was when Hide’s instructor stumbled upon their ‘lessons’ that Touka finally got some proper training, entirely separate from Hide.

Hide didn’t see her as much after that, but every time Touka came and visited him, his chest filled with warmth. She was rude and could even be a little mean, but she was honest. Probably the only person in Hide’s life that was entirely honest to him.

When Touka was offered the job of being Hide’s personal guard, she readily accepted, and Hide agreed as well. It wasn’t just because he was his only friend – it was because he trusted her skill and her dedication. If there was anyone Hide trusted – truly trusted – it was Touka.

Hide thought everyone else in the castle knew that too. She was the one who always ended up looking after him when he needed it, providing support when he had none, making sure he was safe and okay. Touka didn’t leave Hide – not when he really needed her.

So, he wouldn’t be leaving Kaneki either. No matter how long he had to stay. He had no idea who Kaneki had – if he had anyone at all. If Kaneki needed someone, then Hide would be there for him.

Hide folded his arms on the bed, leaning his head against them. He occasionally wiped the sweat from Kaneki’s face. Hide hadn’t had too much experience taking care of someone who was sick, but he figured he would give it a shot. Hide had been sick enough in his life to have some idea how to do it – and Touka complained about all the things she had to do for him to get an idea as well.

~ <3 <3 <3 ~

Hide woke up the sensation of something moving against his back. He startled, then was steadied by Kaneki’s hand on his shoulder. Hide relaxed back down as Kaneki pulled the bottom of his shirt up to look at his back.

“You’re not feeling too well either, are you?” Kaneki patted his shoulder. “Come on. Switch with me.”

“No,” Hide said, sleep slurring his speech. “You should sleep more.”

“ _No_.” Kaneki helped Hide into the bed, his grip firm. “You _need_ to lay down. Trust me.” Kaneki made sure Hide was laying on his stomach. “Stay just like that. I’ll be right back.” His hands hovered over Hide for a long moment, then he padded away. Hide watched him go. Kaneki looked a little unsteady as he walked, but he certainly looked a lot better than he did before.

Hide stayed up for hours with Kaneki, wiping his face with the rag and giving him little bits of water whenever he woke up enough to drink. At some point, Hide must have fallen asleep, but he had no idea how long it had been since then.

Kaneki came back with a clean rag, water, a few salves, bandages, and… and a bunch of instruments Hide only saw before with the court physician. Those instruments included a scalpel.

“Um.” Hide shifted uncomfortably.

“It’s okay.” Kaneki gave Hide what he probably thought was a comforting smile. Except it wasn’t. “I need to get a sample of whatever it is so that I can determine what it is and treat it.” Kaneki sat on the edge of the bed. “Try not to think about it. I’ll be numbing the area anyway. Take your shirt off so I can get started.”

Hide took it off and then tried to not squirm at Kaneki put on a pair of leather gloves and spread one of the salves over an area on his back. As he let the numbing agent set in, Kaneki prodded Hide’s back. Kaneki traced the dark lines on Hide’s skin. The closest thing Hide thought they resembled when he saw them in a mirror were roots.

“That’s weird.” Kaneki murmured, his fingers pausing. Hide was about to ask him _what_ was weird, but Kaneki interrupted him. “Can you feel that?”

“No?”

Hide did as Kaneki told and tried not to think about what was happening. He definitely wasn’t thinking about the weird ass shit in his back. And he most _definitely_ wasn’t thinking about how Kaneki was cutting some of it _out_ of his back. Nope. Definitely not thinking about it. At all.

“Stop squirming.” Kaneki squeezed Hide’s shoulder. “I’m almost done.” Out of the corner of his eye, Hide saw Kaneki set the knife down on a metal tray. Hide looked away before Kaneki pulled out the next tool, not really wanting to know what he was doing and let his mind wander in terrible directions.

Kaneki was quiet for a long while and Hide could no longer resist the urge to peak over his shoulder. Kaneki sat there, holding something that resembled a worm between to metal sticks, staring at it with a perplexed expression. When Kaneki saw Hide look over, he quickly deposited the ‘worm’ into a glass flask. He then spread some of a different salve on a bandage and pressed it against Hide’s shoulder.

“We should keep that covered for now.”

Hide continued to stare at the worm in the jar, seeing it wriggling around. His skin felt like it was crawling and suddenly his back would _not_ stop itching. Hide felt his stomach lurch and his heart beat rapidly. He had something _moving_ inside him. Hide reached up with the desperate need to scratch and Kaneki caught his hand.

“Don’t. It won’t help.” Kaneki placed Hide’s hand back down on the bed, giving it a slight squeeze. “I know what this.”

“What is it?”

Kaneki pursed his lips, debating whether or not to actually tell him “A type of demonic parasite,” he said finally.

“Demonic? Parasite?” Hide felt like he was going to pass out.

Kaneki nodded. “It’s likely another attempt on your life. Even summoning something like this is extremely difficult for an experienced sorcerer. They’re a type of egg, I suppose. Every demon carries them – or so I’ve heard. No one has summoned an _actual_ demon for a long time – most, if not all scrolls on _how_ to have also been lost.” Kaneki touched Hide’s back. “Even information on this type of thing is lacking. But, lucky for you, I’m one of the few people who know if it.”

“So you’ll get it out of me?” Hide didn’t care how it was done. He just wanted the demon worm things out of him and he wanted them out now.

“Not yet.” Kaneki tossed Hide his shirt. “I need help. The kagune – the demonic parasite – is still in its incubation phase. Its branches still rely on a source that draws nutrients from your body.” Kaneki held up the glass flask. “The kakuhou. Once it’s removed, as long as the parasite isn’t matured, it dies.”

Hide watched as the worm fizzled, dissolving into a dark, reddish black pool at the bottom of the flask.

“I’m going to contact of friend of mine,” Kaneki continued. “He’s specialized in healing, and I’ll need him if we try to remove this thing from you. On top of that, I would like the assistance of your court physician, for the surgery to remove the kakukou.”

~ <3 <3 <3 ~

Kaneki was frowning thunderously, sat in front of Amon on his horse. Amon wasn’t making a face, but he sat stiffly, his fists holding his reins tightly. Hide would have rode with Seidou and given Kaneki his own horse if he wanted… except Kaneki, after a few seconds, begrudgingly admitted he didn’t know how to ride.

Hide also would have ridden with Kaneki, but there was no way any of his guards would have allowed that. So, they were left with the current arrangement, which only Seidou seemed remotely happy about. In addition, Kaneki seemed to be struggling to keep his eyes open, and even sitting up straight, clearly still affected by whatever potion he had taken earlier.

Luckily, it was only a one day ride to Kaneki’s friend’s. Unluckily, with the awkward silence, it seemed to take much longer than that. Not a word was spoken during the trip, other than the necessary directions and the couple times Hide tried unsuccessfully to initiate small talk.

When they stopped again, this time at a home with a small garden outside, Kaneki stepped down from the horse. He stumbled a bit, catching himself. Hide was about to jump down after him, concerned by how pale and unsteady he looked, but Kaneki held out his hand.

“Please wait here. I’ll be back right away.” Kaneki disappeared inside for a few minutes.

Hide turned to Amon and Seidou, who were watching him expectantly. “We should probably tie our horses up.” The sun was almost down. “I don’t think we’ll be heading off tonight.” Hide dropped down from his own horse, feeling himself ache. Damn, did he appreciate being on his own two feet. Hide tied his horse to thick tree, petting her gently before moving away. Amon and Seidou finished tying up their horses as well, Seidou trying to subtly rub his sore ass.

The door to the home opened again, Kaneki followed by someone about the same size of Amon. The man had a friendly expression and a swirly beard.

“I’m Banjou.” He was a wall muscle. “You can stay here for the night. I’ll set up somewhere you can sleep in the living room.” As he spoke, Hide noticed Banjou put a steading hold on Kaneki’s elbow as he swayed in the doorway.

“Thank you for your hospitality.” Hide started forward, giving a small nod to Seidou and Amon who hung back. After a few moments, they followed him.

When they entered, Kaneki and Banjou disappeared into what Hide assumed was the kitchen. Worried, Hide followed them, waving off Amon and Seidou. In the kitchen, Kaneki was leaning up against a counter, looking like he wanted to sag down to the floor.

Banjou plucked a potion off one of his shelves and handed it to him. “You need to take better care of yourself. You could have done some serious damage to your body.”

Kaneki took the potion Banjou gave him, drinking it at once. Banjou took the glass from him and Kaneki looked away in Hide’s direction, his eyes downcast. He noticed Hide immediately and Hide gave him a small wave in return.

“You didn’t look to good,” Hide explained. “I was worried about you.”

Kaneki frowned, his eyes seeming to be slowly glazing over. He was swaying more than he was before, his eyebrows furrowed. Then, he stepped forward, smiling dopily and tapped the space between Hide’s brows with his index finger.

“Don’t worry about me so much,” he mumbled.

Hide frowned and glanced at Banjou, who sighed. “Some side effects of the potion.” Banjou put a hand on Kaneki’s shoulder and spoke to him gently. “Come on, Ken. You should go to bed. Sleep it off.”

Kaneki blinked, going with Banjou as he guided him to a bedroom. Hesitantly, Hide followed. Banjou helped Kaneki lay down in bed. By the time he was pulling the blanket over him, Kaneki’s eyes had already shut and his breathing had slowed.

Hide stood just outside the doorway, wringing his hands. When Banjou finished tuck Kaneki in, he stepped outside and quietly closed the door. He regarded Hide, his expression softening. “Thank you for worrying for him.”

“Is he going to be okay?” Kaneki looked better earlier when he was tending to Hide, but on the ride with the horses, he got worse.

“He will be,” Banjou assured. “He just needs rest now. And you do too. We set out early and from what Kaneki told me, you have a rough couple days ahead of you.”

Hide nodded and crept back to where Amon and Seidou were to get some sleep.

~ <3 <3 <3 ~

Hide woke up in the morning to the murmuring of quiet voices. Hide rolled on his side from his stomach, glancing around. Both Seidou and Amon were still fast asleep, Amon snoring monstrously and his feet almost in Seidou’s face. Hide could see that even in his sleep, Seidou’s nose was wrinkled in disgust.

Hide got up quietly, heading to the kitchen, where he heard the conversation coming from. He was about to enter – but stopped when he heard they were talking about him.

“I never expected you to be traveling with a royal.” Banjou said.

“I don’t think he’s… I think he isn’t involved with all that – may even be clueless about it.”

“Regardless of that, I know how cautious you are around them, after everything. Are we really heading to the castle?”

“If we want to save his life, then yes. And I do. I’m also curious to know why such a powerful sorcerer wants his life.” Kaneki drummed his fingers against the table.

“I think that curiosity has nothing to do with it.” Banjou’s voice was soft. “You’re worried about him, aren’t you? You’re quick to care about people.”

Kaneki was silent for a long while. Eventually Banjou sighed.

“We’ll set out once everyone is up. I packed up all my supplies while you were sleeping.” A pause. “Don’t worry. I won’t let him die.”

“I know.” There was a relieved laugh. “That’s why I came to you.”

Hide retreated back to the living room, crouching to gently shake Amon’s shoulder. Amon grunted in his sleep and Hide just barely managed to dodge a massive swing of Amon’s arm when he rolled over. Seidou wasn’t as lucky, catching a foot to the face. Seidou groaned loudly in complaint when he sat up. He glared at Amon, then whacked at his shins in retaliation. Amon finally opened his eyes, grunting in pain.

“We’re getting ready to go,” Hide said. “Both of you should gather your things.”

The sun was just rising when they were getting on their horses. Banjou had his own, so thankfully Kaneki could ride with him instead of Amon. Kaneki smiled as he hopped on in front of Banjou, running his fingers through the horse’s mane. Hide found himself turning away to hide his smile.

They rode as quick as they could, stopping to give both themselves and the horses breaks. During that time Kaneki and Banjou would often drift away from the group, speaking quietly to each other. Kaneki’s face lit up as he talked, becoming more animated than Hide had yet seen.

Hide felt a little left out, and also felt guilty about feeling that way. Hide didn’t know Kaneki. Not at all. He only knew him as a skilled sorcerer, someone he could run to in times of need, but he had absolutely no _clue_ who Kaneki was. So, he had no right to feel such a way.

Yet…

Behind him, Seidou chattered excitedly about something to Amon. Hide would have liked to join, but he knew the moment he did, the conversation would become awkward for them, no matter how much Hide tried otherwise. Even though they were part of his personal guard, they weren’t as close to Hide as Touka was, nor were they as comfortable around him. Their job was to guard him, and sure, to be friendly. But that was their _job._

Hide inched closer to where Kaneki sat, taking a long drink from a water skin. Hide plopped down beside him. Kaneki startled a bit and coughed on his water.

“Ah, sorry.” Hide held up his hands in apology as Kaneki wiped his chin with his sleeve. “I was just kind of curious about something.” And craving company.

“About what?”

“Well.” Hide scratched at his chin. “I noticed you had a lot of books at your place. Those aren’t all on magic, are they?”

“Not all of them,” Kaneki admitted, smiling softly. “Why?”

“Well, we have a library at the castle… and I was wondering if you…”

“I thought I wasn’t supposed to wander around the castle?” Kaneki said shortly. His face morphed from his gentle expression to a stone one.

Hide flinched. It wasn’t going nearly as well as he hoped. “Not… really. But Touka could accompany you, and you could always bring the books back to –“

“I think I’ll pass on your offer.” Kaneki stood and Hide clambered up after him.

“Wait.” Hide reached towards him.

Kaneki huffed and turned around to face him, his expression no longer blank. Instead, it was pained. “It’s not that I don’t understand why. I _do_. But I still don’t appreciate being treated like a criminal when all I’ve done is save your life.”

Hide’s hand dropped back down to his side.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Hidekane Week - Day 4 - Cooking Together. Hope you enjoy!

Hide didn’t remember much of it. He remembered getting to the castle – he remembered Kaneki telling him what they were going to do. How Kaneki was going to kill the kakuhou – then have Nishiki remove it surgically. Based on the type of kagune Hide had – rinkaku – Kaneki said it was somewhere in the small of his back. Once they removed the kakuhou, they would have to remove remaining kagune as well – as the ones left would poison his body. Since the kagune dissolved rapidly, they would have to remove the largest portions right away. But, Kaneki would make a potion to neutralize any that dissolved inside him. All the while, Banjou providing enough healing that Hide wouldn’t die or lose too much blood during surgery.

Before the surgery, Kaneki gave him a few capsules. “You swallow them,” he said. “It’ll take an hour for them to be taken up into your body, just a little longer than the surgery. You won’t be able to take any potions right after, so this is our only option.”

So Hide took the pills, shortly after, the three of them put Hide under. The next thing Hide remembered was waking up – feeling like utter hell. His back hurt like crazy – enough that he didn’t dare to move an inch. After a few moments, he felt his skin get gently tugged on his back and realized someone was changing his bandages. He groaned when one stuck to his wound a bit, causing him even more pain.

A hand immediately slipped into his and Hide felt someone hover close to his face. Cracking his eyes open, he could see Kaneki kneeling beside him. “Hide? Do you know where you are?”

Hide had to think a while before answering. “The castle?” His voice was so quiet he didn’t knew if he was heard until he got an answer.

“Yeah. You’re in the infirmary, but we’re going to move you to your room soon.”

Hide gave a little nod of his head – really, all he could manage.

“Banjou’s going to heal you some more, so your back is going to feel weird for a bit.” Kaneki gave Hide’s hand a squeeze. “Before that, I’m going to give you something for the pain. But you’re going to have to sit up enough to drink it.”

Hide cringed as Kaneki gently – as he could – turned him on his side and propped his head enough that he could drink. As soon as he did, a fog overcame him. He tried to blink through it, hardly registering anything as Kaneki rolled him back over onto his stomach. Hide felt his back tingle as Banjou healed it, but it wasn’t painful. Nonetheless, Kaneki stayed beside him, his hand firmly wrapped around Hide’s. Hide held onto it like an anchor.

Hide wouldn’t admit it, but he was scared – terrified, even. It wasn’t just the creepy worms that used to be squirming around inside him – as much as it freaked him out – but it was the feeling of utter helplessness as he was targeted, unknowing of who was attacking him, or why. Hide was usually good at reading people – knowing what they thought of him – but he never thought he met anyone who would go to such extents to kill him. And the way he was now – lying motionless on the infirmary bed – he was completely useless to defend himself. He felt like a child again.

Hide turned his face into the pillow, not wanting anyone to see his expression, worrying it would betray what he was thinking. As he did, Kaneki gave his hand another squeeze and Hide felt a lump in his throat. Shortly after, Hide’s thoughts started fragmenting, as the potion Kaneki gave him pulled him closer and closer to a blissful sleep.

He woke up a few times after that – but only briefly – and Hide had no memory of anything other than being given different things to drink. Anything ranging from water, to potions, to even soup at some points. But Hide could have been mistaken.

The next time Hide was fully conscious, he woke with his face mushed into a familiar pillow rather than the plain one in the infirmary. He felt considerable better, his back still aching, but he could move around without worrying that he was about to die. Hide reached behind him and gently touched his back, feeling that it was still bandaged and sore to the slight pressure he applied. Deciding the pain was bearable, he pushed himself up, looking around his bedroom. 

There were a few candles lit around the room. Hide could see every nook and corner, giving him some comfort. Kaneki was to his right, leaning against the wall with his head tipped back, snoring softly. He had a blanket draped over him and a book sitting open in his lap.

Hide slowly sat up, groaning quietly. It felt like all his bones creaked as he moved. Stiffly, he put a foot down on the ground, then his other. He tested his weight on them, standing and keeping most of his weight on the bed for support. He tried to put all his weight on them, but the moment he did, his knees buckled and he collapsed back into the bed, gasping in pain. Hide laid there blinking at the ceiling for a few moments, until Kaneki’s worried face hovered above him.

“Are you alright?”

“Barely.” Hide rolled back onto his stomach with Kaneki’s help. “Fuck.”

“Yeah, that’ll happen.” Kaneki smiled a little. “Especially when you have to heal as much as you did.”

“Was it that bad?”

“It was worse than I thought it was.” Kaneki rubbed his face. “It was pretty widespread, but we managed to get rid of all of it.”

Hide touched his back, feeling pretty damn happy about that. “So am I all good now?”

“Now you just need rest.” Kaneki pulled the blanket back over him. “Lots of it.”

“Maybe in a bit.” Hide folded his arms under his head to prop himself up a bit. “I was kind of curious –“

“Naturally.”

“How long have I been sleeping and what’s happened since then?”

“You’ve been out for a week.” Kaneki settled back down on the floor, crossing his legs and neatly setting his book to the side. “Not too much has happened since then. You’ve had a few visitors, but you weren’t awake for any of them. Touka dropped by and stayed quite a few times – and only threatened me twice. Hinami also visited.”

“She did?” It was good she was getting out of her room more – even if it was just to go to Hide’s – which was right across the hall. She had been quiet after what happened to her parents, more reclusive and loss sociable.

“Yeah. She was worried for you. Seemed a lot happier when I explain things a little more – nothing gruesome, just how long it would take for you to recover and why you were sleeping for so long and such.” Kaneki picked up the book and showed Hide the cover. “I noticed she was carrying a book, so I talked with her a little about it. She brought me a couple from the library. Some were for me to read and others she wanted help with some words.” Kaneki smiled. “She’s going to be a scholar one day, huh?”

“Yeah. I would also put swordswoman on that list.”

Kaneki smiled widened a bit. “Taking after her big sister?”

“Of course. Who else?” If Hinami started taking so much, she must have felt comfortable enough around Kaneki.

“Well, she does admire you a great deal as well.” Kaneki opened the book and started to leaf through the pages. “She told me about how you help her with her studies. And though she said she doesn’t see you training as often, you’re good with the sword as well.” Kaneki’s expression softened. “She thinks really highly of you both.”

Hide hummed. “I just wish she could get out and meet more people. Some kids her age.” It wasn’t good to be cooped up with only adults. Kids needed friends, and those were hard to come by in the castle. Hide knew that well.

Kaneki was looking at him oddly – and Hide knew he was scrutinizing him. He turned his face away from him, letting his eyes shut.

~ <3 <3 <3 ~

Hide walked down the hall, Kaneki at his side. It was his first time leaving his room since the surgery, and Hide was enjoying moving about. His legs felt stiff at first, but they gradually loosened. Feeling a whole lot better and putting a little bounce in his step, Hide turned around to face Kaneki and walked backwards.

“Do you want to go to the kitchen?”

Kaneki shook his head. “Is food the only thing you have on your mind?”

“Currently.” Hide grinned. “Come on, aren’t you hungry too?”

“Maybe a little.” Kaneki trailed after him, and Hide swore he heard his stomach growl. Hide wondered if Kaneki ate anything decent at all when he was looking after Hide.

When Hide thought of how much Kaneki looked after him, he thought how much he owed him. The very least he could do is make Kaneki a meal. Even though he didn’t really… have experience cooking – or really know how to. But, it couldn’t be _too_ hard, could it?

First, they needed ingredients. They could go to the garden for vegetables, and Hide was sure the kitchen would have rice and fresh fish. “Let’s pick out what we want to eat.”

Hide had been to the garden many times. It was usually pretty quiet there – not a lot of people around – and Hide could get away from everything for a bit. He also liked the pretty flowers. As they stepped into it, Hide felt immediately more at ease. Hide never went to the vegetable garden, though he knew where it was. He felt kind of strange stepping inside it, worried he would mess something up.

Hide crouched by a random plant, inspecting it. “Do you think this would be good?”

Kaneki came over, then shook his head when he saw what Hide was looking at. “Not ripe. At all.”

“Oh, well what about…” Hide started to drift on to the next plant when Kaneki gently touched his elbow.

“Come on. I’ll show you.” Kaneki walked a few meters down the aisle, then pointed to a leafy green plant that kind of looked like every other leafy green thing in the garden. “This is full of nutrients. It’ll be good for you, especially after being out for so long.”

Kaneki picked some of the leaves, handing them to Hide. “What else should we get then?”

Kaneki hummed thoughtfully, then went over to another plant. “We need this.” And another. “And this.” And so on. Eventually, Hide’s arms were full and he was directing Kaneki to the kitchen.

When they got there, Yoriko was cleaning a counter, humming a song to herself. While the main house may have had a large kitchen staff, Hide mostly only had Yoriko working at his residence. She occasionally borrowed someone from the main house, when she didn’t steal Touka as a taste tester and dishwasher.

When Hide entered, she glanced up, smiling. “It’s been a while. How are you feeling?”

“A lot better.” Hide clapped his hands together. “If it isn’t too much to ask, could we borrow the kitchen for a bit?”

Yoriko folded her arms and regarded him. “As long as everything is put back in its rightful place? And – as long as you don’t burn it down.”

“I’ll try to remember where everything goes, and not set the place on fire. Promise.” Hide gave her a little smile, hoping it was convincing.

Yoriko sighed softly. “I’ll put out some rice to soak before I go. Remember to use it.”

“I will, I will.”

Yorkio shook her head a little, but walked past Hide anyway, giving Kaneki a meaningful look. Kaneki met her eyes, but his expression didn’t change. When she left, he turned to Hide, raising his eyebrows.

“Right. So.” Hide put the vegetables down on the counter, at a complete loss at what to do with him. The kitchen made everything Hide ate taste delicious, even vegetables, but he wasn’t quite sure how to do it. Maybe instead of asking to borrow Yoriko’s kitchen, he should have asked for help instead. “Uh.” He wondered if it wasn’t too late to go back for her.

“They’re covered in dirt. You have to wash them first.” Kaneki said, tapping the counter with his fingers. “Why don’t I do this half first, then you can do that half afterwards?”

Hide flushed, feeling ashamed for forgetting to do even that. He stood behind Kaneki silently as he pulled a small pot out from one of the cupboards and placed it over the fire. After a brief glance over the kitchen, Kaneki retrieved some water from within a barrel and partially filled the pot with it.

He then went and searched the kitchen, pulling out various spices and a dark sauce, murmuring to himself. Hide tried to focus on what he pulled out, but he put back quite a number of ingredients before Hide could see what they were. After a moments of hesitation, Kaneki once again took out one of the items he put away and set it back out on the counter, looking pleased with his selection.

Hide heard the water behind him boiling and he wrapped his hand in a towel before lifting it by its handle and taking it off the heat. He set it aside to cool. As he did that, Kaneki got a slightly larger pot and filled it with water as well.

There was a silence as they waited for the first pot of water to cool enough for them to wash the vegetables in. Hide leaned against the counter, sneaking a glance at Kaneki, who was staring at the wall, gaze distant. Maybe it was because Hide was so used to seeing him with circles under his eyes that he didn’t consider how tired he must have been, since he had been looking after Hide for a number of days. Or perhaps it was Hide’s own tiredness that dulled his vision. Either way, Kaneki must have been exhausted, and here Hide was dragging him around with the intents of making him a dinner – one Hide didn’t even know how to fucking cook.

“Is something wrong?” Kaneki was tilting his head as he met Hide’s eyes and Hide realized he must have been staring at Kaneki for an absurdly long time.

“I’m fine.” Hide rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve been wondering for a while now… what that potion you were trying to make was.”

Kaneki stiffened. “Why?”

Maybe he shouldn’t have asked. “I won’t pressure you, if you don’t want to tell me. But I was worried about you then, and I’m still worried about you now. I know Banjou is too.”

Kaneki bit his lip and Hide wondered if he was going to argue with him. But after a moment, his shoulders relaxed back down and he slumped against the counter next to Hide. “It was a potion for sleep. I have trouble sleeping.” Kaneki shrugged his shoulders. “That’s all I want to say about it.”

“Okay.” Hide said he wouldn’t press, and if Kaneki wanted him to drop the subject, then he would. Simple as that. “Do you think the water is cooled enough?”

“Probably.”

Kaneki took the vegetables off the counter and put them in the water, cleaning the little bit of dirt that was on them off. He set them aside on a towel so that water wouldn’t get all over the table. After he did half of the job, he passed it over to Hide. Kaneki didn’t say anything – about whether it was good or bad – but he did smile just a bit.

“Can you cut them?” Kaneki asked.

“Yeah, sure.” Hide took out the wooden board they used for cutting and a knife. He felt Kaneki looking over his shoulder as he worked and tried to not feel self-conscious as he started to chop up the vegetables into large pieces. Behind him, he heard Kaneki huff.

“Not like that. You need to make them smaller. They’ll cook unevenly if they’re that big.” Kaneki hovered his hands over Hide’s. “Do you mind?”

“No. Go ahead.” Hide tried to unsuccessfully ignore the way his hands were shaking when Kaneki placed his over Hide’s and guided him through the motion.

“You need to cut them into smaller pieces. Curl your fingers so you don’t cut yourself.” Hide could hardly focus, his mind entirely blank until Kaneki let go of his hands. “Do it just like that. Give it a try yourself.” Hide sliced the vegetable, then looked up for Kaneki’s approval. “That’s good. Just remember – be careful of what you’re doing – don’t cut yourself.”

Hide continued to slice the vegetable. Kaneki waited for a moment before he headed off to make the broth for the soup. Hide focused on what he was doing for the first while, but gradually found himself being more and more drawn to what Kaneki was doing. Before he could get a good look, he felt a slight pain.

“Ouch.” Hide held up his finger and watched as a thin trickle of blood ran down it. “Uh. Fuck.” He went to wrap his bleeding finger on his shirt, but fingers wrapped around his wrist.

Kaneki inspected it, turning Hide’s hand gently to get a better look. He was frowning, expression a lot more serious than Hide would have expected.

“It’s not that bad.” Hide tried to laugh it off. He had a lot worse before. Sword cuts went a lot deeper and took much longer to heal. A little cut was nothing.

“Idiot,” Kaneki reprimanded. “It could have been worse.”

“Look.” Hide held it up. “It’s not even bleeding anymore. So no worrying, okay?”

“Yeah, no more worrying,” Kaneki agreed. “Because you’re not touching another thing in this kitchen.”

“Huh?” Hide stood there dumbly as Kaneki took the knife off the counter and continued to cut the vegetables. “It was just a little cut though.”

“And you were obviously distracted.”

Hide opened his mouth, then shut it. He couldn’t argue with him there. “I’ll go see if we have any fish on hand. I’ll get the rice too.”

Unluckily, they didn’t have any fish. It was something they commonly ate at the castle, but since it had been so hot out lately, it would go badly quickly. It was shame, since Hide liked fresh fish or meat the most. However, he did manage to get the rice Yoriko left for him. Pleased, he brought his find back to Kaneki, who was just adding the vegetables into the soup.

“Perfect timing,” Kaneki murmured. “It should be about ready.” Kaneki retrieved a single grain from the bowl, squeezing it between his fingers. Hide didn’t know what Kaneki was doing, but figured his nod meant that it was ready. “I have to leave this to drain for a while. Why don’t you take a seat?”

Hide did as Kaneki asked and watched him finish up. It felt surprisingly nice to get off his feet. He wasn’t expecting so little to take so much out of him. He didn’t feel tired so much – more like all his muscles were fatigued – like he just trained all day long and _then_ like Touka kicked the shit out of him afterward. Hide groaned a little and let his head thump down on the table.

“Don’t let the place burn down. I’ll be right back.” Hide jolted up in time to see Kaneki stepping out, leaving Hide alone in the room. Hide sighed gently and knocked his head against the table again.

So much for cooking Kaneki a meal. In the end, Hide was useless and just ended up creating more work for Kaneki. Hide wondered if there was something – anything – he could do for him. Deciding, Hide stood and went to the door, knowing Touka would be standing outside of it.

Hide poked his head out. “Hey. Could you do me a favour?”

Touka tilted her head and looked at him. “Another one?”

“What are you keeping count?”

“Maybe.” Touka smiled and folded her arms. “What can I do for you, prince?”

“Could you get me a few books from the library in the main house? Novels – to be exact.” Hide wasn’t giving up on the book idea. Kaneki definitely didn’t want an escort, so the least Hide could do was bring books to him.  

Hide swore he saw her roll her eyes. “Fine. I’ll get you the books.” Touka looked both ways down the hall. “I’ll send Amon to stand guard while I go.”

“Thanks a bunch.” Hide retreated back into the room and waited for Kaneki, who was taking a little while longer than Hide expected. He was just considering getting up to stir the soup when the door opened again and Kaneki stepped inside.

“Sorry that took so long.” Kaneki displayed a small bottle, a bandage and a cloth. “Figured we might as well clean your wound while we wait.” Kaneki set both items down on the table and briefly went into the kitchen, checking the rice and then adding something he set aside on the counter into the soup.

When he was done, he sat next to Hide, holding out his hand. After a moment, Hide put his hand in his and Kaneki rotated it so he could see the small cut. Kaneki steadied Hide’s hand, then let go of it to deposit some alcohol on the cloth. He then dabbed the cloth against Hide’s finger, making it sting slightly.

It was such a small injury and Hide really didn’t think it was all that necessary, but some part of him still enjoyed Kaneki taking care of him, even if he felt a little guilty about it at the same time.

“Thanks,” Hide said when Kaneki covered the wound with the bandage.

“It’s no problem.” Kaneki set Hide’s hand back down on the table. “I don’t mind.”

Hide kept seated as Kaneki rose to finish making the rice and soup. After what felt like forever – Hide’s stomach growling embarrassingly loud for the last couple minutes – Hide was helping Kaneki serve the meal into separate bowls. It all smelt really good. Hide couldn’t wait to dig in.

It was delicious. Almost as good as the meal Kaneki cooked him when he was at his house. Halfway through his meal, Kaneki got up and came back with two large glasses of water. Between bites, Hide gulped some down.

Hide finished, feeling pleasantly full and finally kind of tired. Once everything was cleaned up, they exited the room. Touka was back on guard, a small bag by her feet. When Hide stepped outside, she picked it up and handed it to him, saying nothing. She stood there for a moment, then sighed and walked away, far enough and out of sight so that Hide could have some ‘privacy’ with Kaneki.

“These are for you,” Hide said. He held out the cloth bag to Kaneki, who hesitantly peaked inside it. Kaneki’s lips tensed and Hide wasn’t sure if he was holding back a smile or a frown. “I figured you may have run out of all the material Hinami brought to you.”

Kaneki brought the books towards his chest and exhaled gently. “Thank you, for thinking of me. I’m sorry, for being a little harsh before. Like I said, it’s not that I don’t understand why limitations are put on my activities here…”

“But it still hurts. I know. I’m sorry too.” Hide wished he could do something, but he wouldn’t act against his father.

Kaneki ducked his head, his expression soft. It reminded Hide of the way Kaneki looked when he spoke to Banjou. “Let’s head back to your room. You need more sleep, and I want to read some of these.”


End file.
